Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for July, 2008

RED SONJA

OH THANK GOD! THANK YOU FOR REMAKING THIS MOVIE!!!

Read Full Post »

Hmmm…

So I just realized I wrote an article about Jesus not being insulting, and then I wrote a totally insulting article about a video game. Oops. But man, that game is so terrible. I just get frustrated because it’s like, how come the guys who get to make video games are so uncreative? Why can’t they give someone creative a chance? Someone who has vision and drive and incredible good looks? Someone like me!

Read Full Post »

I played the Too Human demo yesterday and I have to say, I have never been so underwhelmed by a video game in my life.

1. Absurd character design. The lead character looks like a douche. I want him to die.

2. Flawed and non-intuitive control mechanism. Seriously.

3. Exceptionally poor camera control and camera mechanics. Tap LB to center camera? Weak, but okay. But DON’T CUT the camera to the new position! It’s jarring and stupid. Make the camera smoothly swing around. Idiots.

4. THE UGLIEST AND MOST NON-INTUITIVE USER INTERFACE I HAVE EVER SEEN.

5. A story that nobody will ever care about that uses overused mythological elements and is told in a way that is completely annoying.

6. A piss easy combat system that is repetitive and boring, used against worthless enemies that barely even attack you.

7. Bounds issues EVERYWHERE.

I hate this demo and I hope the full release flops. Designers this retarded shouldn’t be allowed to make games.

Read Full Post »

I read a verse today that got me thinking. Matthew 11:6 – “Blessed is he who does not take offense at Me.”

The reason that got me thinking was because I’ve heard a lot of people talk about how “Jesus offended a lot of people.” Usually they’re referring to religious hypocrites and stuffed shirt types. But because of this verse, I don’t think that saying is true.

Jesus was (and is) the perfect balance between truth and love. He always spoke the truth, but he always spoke it in a way that was ultimately loving, even if it didn’t seem like it at the time. I personally believe that even in his anger (cleansing the temple, Mark 11:15-18) he was somehow loving. Don’t ask me how, I just believe it.

I don’t think Jesus ever does (or did) anything to purposefully offend us. I think what’s really going on is that he does things that we may choose to take offense about. It would be more accurate to say that a lot of people get offended at Jesus.

I mean, think about it. If he asks you a really tough question, what are you going to do? Humble yourself and accept his teaching? The only other option is to get offended. If you choose that option, you’re rejecting constructive criticism.

Jesus is not insulting. He wasn’t that way two thousand years ago and he isn’t that way now. Insulting is when you say something to someone just to make them feel bad. If people choose to get offended at Jesus, it’s because he loves them too much to let them remain in a place that is harmful, so he’s chosen to expose something that could risk the relationship. His love is so great that he will accept abuse and hate and offense if it means the objects of his love are benefitted.

“Blessed is he who does not take offense at Me.”

Read Full Post »

Now that The Dark Knight has finally hit theaters, you might be tempted to think, “Well, gee. Everything from this point on is going to be a let down. Shucks.”

WRONG!!!

If you saw The Dark Knight then you were fortunate enough to see the Watchmen trailer on a big screen. You guys, seriously. We’re talking about what could be an amazing movie here.

Watchmen advertises itself as the most celebrated graphic novel of all time. That might seem like a stretch to some people, but it’s actually the truth. There have been more popular graphic novels, sure, but that’s mostly because they contain popular heroes. I quote from Wikipedia about Watchmen: 

To date, Watchmen remains the only graphic novel to win a Hugo Award, and is also the only graphic novel to appear onTime Magazine’s 2005 list of “the 100 best English-language novels from 1923 to the present.”

There’s a reason for that. Watchmen is awesome. But the reason Watchmen is awesome is because it’s different than most comic books. The attitudes are different, history is different, and the characters have to deal with things that comic book heroes almost never have to deal with (or at least things that they didn’t have to deal with at the time when Watchmen was written). The heroes are based on other heroes, but they are different. So when a character does something, you’re like, “Wow this guy is so much like so and so… but his motives are so radically different.” The best thing I can think of to compare it to is Superman: Red Son, a stand alone “what if” comic that explores what Superman would have been like if he had crash landed in communist Russia instead of American farmland.

I think I’m going to like this movie. By the way, if anyone is wondering what song they use in the trailer, it’s “The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning” by Smashing Pumpkins.

There’s actually another comic series that can be compared to Watchmen. It’s called The Authority. It really sucks, though. The dialogue is well written, and the artwork is incredible, but the moral agenda is absolutely terrible. Hopefully the Watchmen movie won’t lean in that direction.

Read Full Post »

You should know by now that I never make up my dreams. They just happen. Most of the time they’re unusual, so I only record the really, REALLY weird ones.

Last night, we had a winner.

I waited too long to record it, so I’ve lost some details. But I do remember that I was at a small coffee shop with a girl, and Coldplay was playing. It was a super casual show, though – friends and family only. Chris Martin came over and stood right by us. While he was talking with us, he was casually playing a new instrument they got for one of their songs – a water hose. That’s right, the new big thing with Coldplay was that all of their songs after Viva la Vida were recorded using only household garden instruments.

Then, in my dream, I woke up to find that I had been sleeping outside on a stone slab near the base of a house surrounded by snow. It was very cold. I knocked on the door of the house, and an Ex President of the United States (I think it was Reagan) answered the door. He told me that this was the Mt. Everest base camp, and I needed to climb to the top of the mountain, but that I could sleep on his stone slab whenever I wanted. I thanked him for his hospitality, and started walking towards the summit.

That’s when I was awakened by a phone call.

Tsk tsk! What would have happened if I had gotten to finish my dream? Would I have made it to the top? Would Coldplay have been waiting for me?

The world will never know.

Read Full Post »

This is why I love going to comic book movies on opening night.

You guys.

Batman is awesome.

I saw The Dark Knight on opening night and again the next evening. It is SO GOOD. I can’t express to you how awesome it is. Seriously. You have to see this movie.

And I quote: “The Dark Knight kicked the CRAP out of Batman Begins!” – Josh Pruett

It was better the first time, I do have to say. This movie has lots and lots of little plot twists, and a lot of the fun of it was when something would be revealed, and you’d be like, “No WAY!” The second time I knew what was going to happen so I wasn’t gripping my seat as hard. But it was still fun, because I got to appreciate Heath Ledger’s mind blowing performance a little more.

He did an incredible job as the Joker. I know people have been making a lot of contrasts between him and Jack Nicholson, so let me just throw in my two cents. Jack played a different kind of Joker. Jack’s Joker is very much the old style comic, very humorous and crazy. Heath’s Joker is NOT crazy, and is SCARY, and while he’s goofy, it’s almost like he’s saying, “I dare you to laugh at this,” while holding a knife to your throat. They’re both good in different ways, but the main difference is that Jack Nicholson played Jack Nicholson as the Joker. Heath Ledger played the Joker. There was no Heath Ledger in his performance. He was completely the Joker. So in my opinion, he did a better job.

I do have some questions about The Dark Knight, mainly concerning plot and the possibilities for a sequel. But I can’t ask them yet or you’ll all get mad at me for ruining the movie for you. I guess I’ll wait a few weeks and then do a Dark Knight recap/inquisition article.

Go see The Dark Knight.

Will and Anna made a new friend in the lobby.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »